September 2019

Chofetz Chaim Daily 28 Elul. Conclusion. If you think the in-laws aren’t going to support the amount promised, you can tell if a) you are positive b) it is a ‘make it or break it’ issue for the boy 3)the boy is really all he’s made to be. If they already made the t’naim, you may say only if you know they will act Al Pi Din, and not just break it off.

Chofetz Chaim Daily 29 Elul If your information is not first hand, you can say it IF 1)the listeners know that, & will make more serious inquiries 2)they won’t break it off because of you. The Chofetz Chaim concludes his sefer by saying that the main idea is to think before you speak!!

Chofetz Chaim Daily 26 Elul Shidduch Scenario: Be careful. If you know serious negative info about a potential shidduch, you must tell other side. Chofetz Chaim warns against destructive labeling i.e. to call a sincere & simple person “not so sharp”. Besides ruining potential matches, it degrades being sincere. Asur to degrade someone b/c of their parents or ancestors.

Chofetz Chaim Daily 27 Elul. Conclusion. Serious negativities of a shidduch include: hidden illness, apikorsus and pritzus. Asur to tell about a boy’s lack of Torah knowledge. If they are concerned, they could have him tested. Whenever you’re allowed to speak, you must make sure to fulfill all the conditions in Rechilus Chapter 9:2.

Chofetz Chaim Daily 25 Elul In a case of potential partnership, one should not assume that ploni’s poor financial situation makes him a bad candidate for a partnership. BUT in such a scenario, where you may not want him as your partner, you shouldn’t recommend him either. That may be bad advice.

Chofetz Chaim Daily 24 Elul 9:14 If someone suspects YOU of wronging him, and you know who really did it, you may not tell (unless all conditions met).  You may say it wasn’t me. 9:15 Ex: You put something aside for buyer. Ploni comes, pays, and takes the item. You do not protest. When original buyer returns with $, you may not tell him its ploni’s fault. It is asur to say ploni’s name, even if you accept blame. All hilchos LH do not apply to people who are public kofrim. 
(A Tinok Shenishba, which means someone who wasn’t educated with a Torah education, or someone who didn’t have a stable youth, is considered “Amitecha” and one cannot talk LH about him. For any question ask a Posek.)

Chofetz Chaim Daily 23 Elul 9:13 If the buyer will cause the seller any unrightful loss, it is asur to tell him that he was overcharged. The Chofetz Chaim bemoans the common practice of people degrading other’s purchases. If the buyer has no claim min hadin, there is no toeles. Most often the sayer isn’t educated enough to be able to determine the correct current value of the item!

Chofetz Chaim Daily 21 Elul 9:10 If you see that a store intends to cheat a customer, (overpriced more than 1/6, uses false scales, pretends junk is quality), you must warn the customer to stay away.

Chofetz Chaim Daily 22 Elul 9:11 If the buyer already made a purchase and has a valid claim (was cheated more than 1/6 & not too long since purchase), you should tell buyer if you fulfill these conditions: a) don’t exaggerate b)intend litoeles* c)try to rebuke seller first d)try alternative method first e)make sure the buyer won’t tell seller your name.

*be sure that the buyer is the type to try to recoup his loss. If he’ll just be upset, then may not tell him. On the contrary you should lie and praise his purchase

Chofetz Chaim Daily 19 Elul 9:5,6 One may only tell R about a potentially bad partner if they are not yet partners. If they are already partners, it depends. If R is the type to immediately break the partnership, you may not tell him. If he will just protect himself from losses, you may

Chofetz Chaim Daily 20 Elul 9:7 You may tell someone that ploni stole from him or damaged him. However, you must rebuke ploni first and fulfill the 5 conditions(ibid). 9:8 If you are allowed to tell, you must. If you are not allowed to tell, even if the someone begs you, you must not. 9:9 When you can’t tell to ploni, you cant tell others either.

Chofetz Chaim Daily 18 Elul 9:3 If you know that A is plotting to hurt B, you must tell B provided fulfillment of aforementioned conditions. 9:4 you must be sure that by telling B, he’ll stay away from A, but if he’s type to make preemptive strike on A and make a bigger fight, then you cant tell him.

Chofetz Chaim Daily 17 Elul 9:1 If you know bad things about the person that A wants to enter partnership with, you must tell A, provided that you fulfill these conditions a. its definitely destructive to prospective partner b. must not exaggerate c. must intend ltoeles (be sure that A will actually take your advice) d. seek alternative methods first e. it cant cause the potential partner any additional loss.

Chofetz Chaim Daily 16 Elul 8:4 Rechilus is asur even if the comment ploni made wasnt so bad, ex. When Sarah said, and my husband is old, Hashem didnt repeat that part to Avraham. 8:5 if someone tells you a secret, you may not repeat it, it can damage him and isnt derech tznius.