Chofetz Chaim Daily 26 Elul Shidduch Scenario: Be careful. If you know serious negative info about a potential shidduch, you must tell other side. Chofetz Chaim warns against destructive labeling i.e. to call a sincere & simple person “not so sharp”. Besides ruining potential matches, it degrades being sincere. Asur to degrade someone b/c of their parents or ancestors.
Chofetz Chaim Daily 24 Elul 9:14 If someone suspects YOU of wronging him, and you know who really did it, you may not tell (unless all conditions met). You may say it wasn’t me. 9:15 Ex: You put something aside for buyer. Ploni comes, pays, and takes the item. You do not protest. When original buyer returns with $, you
Chofetz Chaim Daily 22 Elul 9:11 If the buyer already made a purchase and has a valid claim (was cheated more than 1/6 & not too long since purchase), you should tell buyer if you fulfill these conditions: a) don’t exaggerate b)intend litoeles* c)try to rebuke seller first d)try alternative method first e)make sure the buyer won’t tell seller your
Chofetz Chaim Daily 21 Elul 9:10 If you see that a store intends to cheat a customer, (overpriced more than 1/6, uses false scales, pretends junk is quality), you must warn the customer to stay away.
Chofetz Chaim Daily 20 Elul 9:7 You may tell someone that ploni stole from him or damaged him. However, you must rebuke ploni first and fulfill the 5 conditions(ibid). 9:8 If you are allowed to tell, you must. If you are not allowed to tell, even if the someone begs you, you must not. 9:9 When you can’t tell to
Chofetz Chaim Daily 17 Elul 9:1 If you know bad things about the person that A wants to enter partnership with, you must tell A, provided that you fulfill these conditions a. its definitely destructive to prospective partner b. must not exaggerate c. must intend ltoeles (be sure that A will actually take your advice) d. seek alternative methods first
Chofetz Chaim Daily 15 Elul 8:1 Asur to say Avak rechilus – negative implication (e.g. to tell R how ploni said lets not talk about what R did). 2) Praise that will cause hard feelings is also avak rechilus (e.g. to praise one before his spouse or partner about their charity giving; it will make the other think they’re wasting
Chofetz Chaim Daily 14 Elul 7:5 Asur to believe rechilus regardless of who is telling it to you, even one’s spouse. The Chofetz Chaim gives some advice; showing your willingness to listen will bring many more such stories, and with them, much heartache.
Chofetz Chaim Daily 13 Elul 7:3 Asur to tell someone that ploni badmouthed him. Likewise asur to tell that to someone’s wife & relatives – they’ll get upset at ploni. 7:4 Much worse to say rechilus to a non-Jew about a Jew, because he may harm the Jew. Asur to denigrate a product or service that a Jew provided for
Chofetz Chaim Daily 12 Elul 7:2 Asur to say rechilus about an am haaretz. About a Talmid Chacham is much worse a)its probably false b)it violates the mitzvah to honor and respect him c)worse ramifications (i.e. can ruin his influence, create a big fight, he will lose his position).